Thursday, April 30, 2009

Am I only dreaming?

Apparently I was snoring but I'm sure I wasn't asleep!

I don't think I sleep very well. Sleep comes in fits and starts. My nights are ravelled and the day is hard to greet. There are some patches of blank slumber and others of vivid wild dreams, but most is a stream of consciousness or a submerged musing state, that's neither awake nor asleep. Or so I thought.

I was 'woken' last night from a state of musing or semiconsciousness by M. I certainly couldn't hear myself snoring. WTF? I was kind of thinking "about how hard it was to sleep and it was time to change the mental soccer game because I was getting stressed about ball skills and tackles and that the art show i segued into could be interesting cause it was more random and dreamy as I don't really do art...." SHOVE

What was happening inside my head?

Did I fall asleep, start snoring and on sudden awakening seamlessly pick up the thoughts that I was having as I fell asleep?
Has dreaming become musing? a reflection on consciousness that has tuned out the external surroundings?
Or did I create the entire scenario in an instant? in which case we might be perpetually unspooling our experiences and always becoming yet believing that we are the end point.

So I could be dreaming that I'm awake when I thought that I wasn't sleeping. Or M could have been dreaming the whole thing and just pushed me for his own twisted reasons.

I am looking forward to finishing "The Brain that Changes" by Dr Norman Doidge.

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